How are you measuring your kid’s success?

A lot of parents focus too much on goals and wins.

Obviously, goals, assists, etc. are an indicator of impact, so they are relevant, but what’s the level of team‑mates, opposition, and difficulty of the game?

Whilst ‘effectiveness’ is a trait, also ask if your kid is an early developer and just taller, faster, more switched on than the others in his or her age group. If so, that edge might not last in a few years when things get more difficult.

An academy coach told me that a great lens to look through is: how do they move, handle the ball, share the ball and strike the ball? Those four areas are what academies quietly scan for, even when parents are only watching the net bulge. Success is a lopsided graph slowly filling out, not a highlight reel.

So from the touchline, run your own private scorecard. Did they try the thing they’ve been practising – weaker foot, first touch forward, a new turn – at least once or twice, even if it didn’t come off? Did they show “dynamism”: when they had the ball, did they drive into space; when they lost it, did they press or race back, instead of drifting and spectating? Did they stay emotionally engaged: recover from a mistake, rejoin the game after conceding, keep wanting the ball instead of hiding?

Those are the behaviours that compound over seasons. Goals will spike and fade with growth spurts and confidence swings; habits and courage can last. One powerful question on the way home: “What did you do today that you couldn’t do a month ago?” It quietly shifts their success metric from “Did we win?” to “Did I grow?”

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