The dial of sucerss

Quite often as parents, our kids either “play well” or “play badly”.

I found myself getting frustrated when my kids didn’t perform as well as I know they can. But on the journey I’ve learned that performance is often inconsistent, and shaped by things like the time of day, what’s going on at school, whether they slept well, what they ate, a sibling conflict in the car, or how stretched they were in the session.​

The idea of a dial of success is simple: instead of one fixed standard, you slide the dial up or down based on today’s child and today’s context. Success isn’t linear; it moves. Your job as a parent is not to hold the bar still, but to set a realistic challenge that gives them a feeling of success and a reason to come back and keep adding confidence.

Kids might play pre‑academy, they might get signed to an academy, they may get a scholar, they may make it pro, or they may not. Over time, you’re not looking at one session in isolation, but the trend across many: is the graph of behaviour and confidence gently moving upward? That mindset stops you from being reactive after one bad game and lets your child ride the normal dips without feeling judged.

An example dial for an U6 player

Quietly pick one “dial” before a session, depending on how they are that day. Just hold it in your head so your reaction matches the level of stretch they can handle. For example:

• “Joining in” – if they are tired, fell asleep in the car or are coming back from illness, success is simply taking part for most of the session.​

• “Keep trying even when overmatched” – if they’re intimidated by bigger, stronger opponents, success might be re‑joining after losing the ball instead of walking off or crying.

• “Calling for the ball” – on a slightly braver day, success is shouting for the ball even if they don’t get it.​

• “Win the ball back 5 times” or “Try to dribble past 5 players” – when they’re buzzing, set a simple, countable task for game impact.​

• “Stay calm if fouled” – for a fiery kid, success might be not kicking out or exploding when bumped or tackled.​

• “Smiling at the end” – some days the win is walking off the pitch smiling and saying they enjoyed it, regardless of goals.

The behaviours look small, but over weeks they compound: more calling for the ball, more attempts to dribble, more ball recoveries, more resilience after setbacks. That’s what confidence actually looks like on the pitch, long before trials, selections and first‑team squads.

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